One main reason was due to insecurities in my career and this stemmed from a traumatic case i witnessed on labour ward (summer of 2017)
Where do I start?
I haven’t posted on this blog in a while due to many reasons.
One main reason was due to insecurities in my career and this stemmed from a traumatic case I witnessed on Labour ward (summer of 2017).
I won't delve into the details but it really made me question why I chose midwifery and if I was fit for the job. So many thoughts ran through my mind 'Why did I think I could be a midwife' 'Am I smart enough?' 'I want to quit, but what do I do next?', the only thing I could do was run.
I decided to go out and become a community midwife and vowed to never come back and work on labour ward again. As a student I loved community because it gave me the freedom to spend as much time with women and their families, I built relationships with the women I caseloaded. (Picture A was a baby I delivered and looked after from 36 weeks gestation) (Picture B is a baby I saw from 36 weeks till 12 days postpartum).
From this, I thought community midwifery was much easier and would provide me a work life balance, little did I know its just as challenging and I seemingly enjoyed it more than I thought. I am still a community midwife but I occasionally work bank shifts on labour ward to keep up my skills. I no longer have the fear that I once had. I would definitely say that my belief in God has helped me through this process and made me realise that all things happen for a reason and I must have faith in his will and plan over my life. I also have amazing colleagues and managers who helped encourage me through the process. I guess in everything you do fear likes to creep in but I have learnt to combat fear with positivity.
Throughout this time I still had many women from church, facebook, family and friends requesting advice on issues and topics such as breastfeeding, hypertension, vaccinations amongst many other things. Even though I didn’t feel up to it I still enjoyed giving women advice here and there. I’ve only had the push recently to start again and embrace every part of midwifery (good and bad).
Another reason I stopped posting was procrastination and my busy schedule.
I recently received a new post as a diabetic specialist midwife and its been an amazing experience so far. I am actually raising funds for diabetes.uk (https://www.diabetes.org.uk) to help raise awareness of diabetes and fund the amazing research surrounding it.
However I've made it my plan to always post at least twice a month on all things midwifery, spirituality, motherhood and more.
There's so much more to share but I will wait for another day to post.